So not long after I got back to Zhytomyr last night, Diana came over and we hung out for most of the evening.
We've been spending a lot of time together the past month or so, and progressively our relationship seems to be moving back towards where it was: we've been getting more flirty and more cuddly the more we hang out, and there were a few moments last night where we almost kissed.
Problem: Diana wants a relationship.
Response: Some days I do, some days I don't.
This is a particularly bad time to be dealing with it because I leave in less then a week, and after that will spend a grand total of three days in Zhytomyr before August 22.
Part of me thinks it's stupid to rekindle something right before I hit the road.
Part of me thinks it's better to be unfettered while on the road.
Part of me thinks all that is stupid and immature and I'd probably be happier if we were together.
And then I remember every other time I've gotten into a relationship and started chaffing a month or two later. Robynne and I stayed together for three years, but there was always a time limit: it would end for summer break or it would end when I graduated or it would end when I started Peace Corps. For some reason that made me feel better and less tied down. That, and she was simply a fantastic girlfriend. Shauna and I lasted eight months for the same reason: she, too, was great and we always knew it was going to end when I left the country.
But I'm not leaving Ukraine for another year and a half. And I get the feeling that if Diana and I got serious, she would be SERIOUS about this, as in headed towards marriage. And that's not what I want. And a year and a half is a long time to date someone and then just break it off. I think it's unfair to her to get into something I have every intention of getting out of later.
But it's really hard when she's warm against me and we're laughing and she's playing with my hair to not just grab her and kiss her.
And that would be the Diana dilema.
Advice?