How cold is it in Ukraine? I could see my breath in my hotel room here in Kyiv, it's that cold. And this is a hotel that is usually frequented by foreigners and costs $45 a night (Peace Corps is paying for me and other volunteers to stay there for our mid-service medicals). Then again, 50 people have died in Ukraine from the cold, so I need to shut the hell up.
And for the medical, it's full blown: I've had the testical exam, the rectal exam, the "turn your head and cough" exam and, of course, the all time favorite: the swab up my urethra exam to both test for chlamidia and prove that boys do cry. If you take the toughest motherfucker in the world: big biker dude that breaks bricks on his head and chews glass to win free beers and then shove a swab up his urethra, I garuntee what will happen. Tears. Big, gloopy tears.
In any case, I feel violated.
Dental exam, too. Those are always fun. That's outsourced so I took my camera, expecting something like when I had an EKG: an office right out of the 1950s. Instead it was all modern and very sterile. You even had to put these disposable bootie thingies on your shoes so you didn't track mud into the dental area. When I go full blow Obsessive Compulsive, I'm getting those for my house. I ate before the dental exam, which the dentist noted, but I'm with Tim Allen on this: why brush your teeth right before the exam to pretend your dental care is better than it is? Give him a challenge: some raw meat preferably, popcorn up in the gums and maybe chew some crackers for texture.
I get to go home tomorrow. Normally I'm excited about coming to Kyiv because Kyiv=Party, but I'm ready to get out of here. It's not just the cold and the probing, but also the expense.
A nine inch pizza cost 24 hrivna. I went and had a cappachino with a friend and didn't see how much it cost. Got the bill. Little cup of cappachino: 13 hrivna (to get a sense of it, imagine a bill of $13 for a cup of coffee).
Now I really feel violated.