Ukraine: Documentary, June 27

The film is coming along in interesting ways. The Jewish school wanted one of their students to present about the holocaust in the little museum they have, buthe kept nervously moving around and I had to keep moving the camera tokeep in in frame (in retrospect, I should have just said "fuck it" andgone wide) and then his teacher kept interrupting and trying to showthis and that, but she's behind the camera. Thing is, a lapel mic ison him running into the camera, so I can only pick up what she'ssaying by pulling the plug and switching on the onboard mic, thenputting it back in when he starts talking again. So the result is thecamera swinging back and forth between the two of them and the soundconstantly cutting in and out as the mic is switching. It's prettyfunny to watch, but there's enough usable stuff in there to make itworth it.

I don't mind how bad some of the footage initially looksbecause I will be editing it, but then they asked for a copy of theraw footage and now I'm embarassed to give it.Went to the archives and spent four hours getting official permissionto access the historical documents related to the holocaut (as aforeigner, I had to get permission from the head director). Told himI wanted to interview him about the archive repossessing the Torahscrolls and he got really angry and refused. I asked who the officialspokeperson was that I could talk to and he realized it was him andthen grudgingly agreed to do it next week. I got him calmed down andsaid I just wanted to know the official side of things since Americansthought it was Ukraine being antisemitic (actually, most Americansdon't know about it, so I lied a little). He started talking, though,saying they took them back because the Jews had lost 90 meters of thescrolls (the Jews say those 90 meters never existed and it had beenmiscategorized; I should point out that these are a number of scrollsand scroll fragments). But the director, getting more comfortable,explained that now anyone could come see them whenever they wanted toand that they were much safer now. And then (God, I hope he says thison camera) he went on to say that the Jews should be thankful to thearchives for preserving the scrolls and keeping them safe after thewar. Actually, he has a point to this, but it still came off reallyhigh and mighty.

Getting people to say things on camera has been a problem. Myantisemtic friends that agreed to an interview started complimentingthe Jews as soon as the camera went on. Me: "But that's not what youtold me before." One of them: "I have changed my mind. That was along time ago." Me: "That was last week". "But I have thought aboutit and realized the Jews have done nothing bad to me" Me: "That'sgreat! Would you be willing to talk about how you used to feel andwhy you changed your mind?" Her: "No"Other open antisemites that my friends know have also refused to talkon camera. Understandable, but... Grrr.

Jews have also been unwilling to say anything bad on camera, fearfulof later retribution. Said one: "don't forget, we have to live here".I was getting a little frustrated, but hit a gold mine last night.The rabbi's assistant finally got back to me and was really honest.He's been compliling antisemetic incidents in Zhitiomir and apparentlyattacks have been happening about every three months. He gave me thenumbers of not just Jews who have been attacked, but those who havebeen attacked AND speak English. He's also going to take me to theJewish cemetery to show me the vandalism and smashed graves. He alsosays a lot of skinheads hang out there, so hopefully I can startmaking contacts with them and get interviews that way. He also calledover to a Jewish organization that provides fellowship parties forolder Jews, and when I talked to them today they said that there weremany who attend who were alive during the holocaust and that theyloved when young people were interested in their stories. They alsosaid recording them wouldn't be a problem and that it was important toget the stories captured.The rabbi's son's bar mitzvah is tonight and I was invited so that Icould meet other members of the community. Thing is, I don't haveformal clothes. The family I'm staying with, the father and son areboth taller than me, but one loaned me a shirt and tie and the otherloaned me pants. So I am going in these old, baggy clothes and tennisshoes. But I'm excited that I will be allowed to film there, so I canget some good b-roll footage of Jewish life here, and will put it ontoa disk so that the son can have some Hi-def footage of his barmitzvah.

So things are coming along. I am realizing that there is enough herethat I could be working way past when I would need to go back toaccept the New York job, or even teaching in Florida (which I stillhaven't secured a job for; no one wants to do phone interviews).Ironically, I was offered a job here in Ukraine that would havestarted in September and was only a four month contract. If I hadtaken it I could have finished filming, worked four months tore-infuse the bank account, travel a bit and been flown home for free. I passed on it, though, and now it's been filled.

Grr. I feel likeI have been very out of the flow lately, unsure of what I should bedoing and it's frustrating. I am used to things lining up andtrusting to getting where I'm going, but now I find myself unsure.